Parenting with Love, Limits and Latitude
“Parent’s bringing children into this world and then rearing them in love and righteousness is essential to the great plan of happiness.” (Alma 42:8)
Parents need principals to help guide them in raising their children. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has put out a document called The Family: A Proclamation to the World and it can be used by parents as a helpful guide in this process. It can be accessed at https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org.
All parents have different styles of parenting, some are authoritarian which is a coercive or hostile style where parents deride, demean or diminish their children. They put them down, mock them and control them. Some parents have a permissive style which means parents over indulge or neglect their children. The parent doesn’t give any guidance, rules, or guidelines for children to follow. Permissive parents avoid using any authority to control children or their behavior. The most optimal parenting style is the authoritative style where parents and children have a positive emotional connection. They are fair and consistent with limits and on behavior and they allow the child to help in decision making (1).
If we go back to the Proclamation put out by the LDS church, it tells us that parents should maintain a high priority on teaching children the principles of righteousness. They are to provide for the physical and spiritual needs of the children, to learn to love and serve one another. It also tells us that children are entitled to living with a happily married father and mother (2).
Faith and religion have been shown to create better academic performance, greater moral maturity and is are one of the most important tools parents have in teaching positive values. Religious support and encouragement begin in the home and when parents teach its importance children are able to overcome temptation and peer pressure.
There was so much good information in the chapter we read this week. I know that when I was raising my two older children and now with my youngest son, all of these topics have been important. I have tried to show them that religion and faith are a good foundation in which to build their lives. My younger son, being much younger than the other two is getting a much different upbringing but I have tried to remain consistent in being an example of righteousness and faith. I hope that he is learning and understanding even through the differences that he is having with divorced parents and seeing differences in beliefs and standards. I hope I am being the example that will keep him faithful and close to Heavenly Father.
1. Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.
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